[Self Reflection] Vulnerability

Making this blog was a big step for me.

Although I've been considering thoughts along these lines (having a child alone) for a while now, putting the thoughts out into the wild was a very vulnerable moment.

What if people whose opinion I value disapprove or stop talking to me anymore?

Heck, what if strangers on the internet start posting judgmental troll comments? ^^

We've all heard the usual conservative commentary...




"Having a child without a father is SELFISH"      

 <Yes, deciding to devote my yuppie income to raising a child instead of travel and consumerism, sounds selfish to me. Right. And the "depriving a child of a father angle? Not a crime that millions of fathers don't already do themselves every damned day in this country Just sayin'.>

"You just can't do it. It's wrong. Wait until you are married."

 <Stigmatizing families for starting out of wedlock is so last century.>

"You don't know what you are doing. Your hormones will settle down in a decade or two; then you'll be happy you listened to me."

<Thanks for belittling my desires down to biology. Maybe you are right; maybe I won't want the same thing in ten years. Or maybe I will, and listening to your mansplainin' will have lost the biological ability to ever pursue it.>

"Single women should channel Those Urges into charity work with children already in need."

<I've tried so many versions of this. Big Sisters, soup kitchen help, camp counselor.. While an admirable thing to do, they just doesn't meet my emotional desire for a child of my own. Not to mention? Watching children you have gotten to know and care for go back to whatever situation of neglect without you being able to Fix It  is heartbreaking in itself.

There is only so much you can do, and frankly, everyone should be doing it, not just a single demographic.>



There are so many more discouraging things that people could say.

There are also so many more encouraging things people could say, if they knew to say them.  

End Thought?

If I can't risk putting the ideas out in the world, I'm not going to be any good at making them happen.

Neither will you.

So here we are.