Today I got to thinking about what is negotiable and what is not, for me, in terms of things or resources when I decide to start TTCing. YMMV, as all of these things are viewed as "luxuries" by many families.
Car?
I could do without, if it meant TTCing earlier. Vancouver is a transit friendly enough city, especially with the car coops. It would sure make things a lot EASIER, if I had a car and it was all paid off, but this is not something I would just lay down the money for. Car = Negotiable.
House?
This is a non-negotiable for me. The rent in Vancouver is ridiculous, almost the same as a mortgage for most places. I can't see spending grotesquely more money for renting a place that is "suitable" when I could be scrimping a little and investing in the future. I may squish me and mine into a smaller apartment rather than moving to the burbs and getting larger (and thus needing a car), but that would be a financial decision. Owning a Roof of some type = Non-negotiable
Computer?
Non-negotiable. This may be backwards, but without a computer and a steady internet connection, I would lose a way of connecting with my world that is a lifeline. I absolutely must have a functioning computer or method of internet access before I could consider TTC. That said, I obviously already have this one or this blog you are reading wouldn't exist (ha!), so I'm all good. If it broke though, I would lay down the money, no questions asked for something that could get me on the internet.
Savings for Maternity Leave?
Negotiable. I'm not as concerned as mothers in other countries would be for this... A certain amount of expenses during the time I am off work and taking care of baby are covered by the country wide maternity allowance. My work has a top up program, in which if you sign a contract to come back and work for them for X number of years post-partum, they will give you a bonus set salary for your maternity three months that isn't shabby. Not to mention that they also encourage you to work a day a week to keep up skills, and will pay you a token amount/provide child care for you to do that. Of course, you don't keep your full days pay, since that would violate Canada law, but still, a good way of keeping up skills. I think that saving up specifically for costs during the time off work would be a negotiable for me, if I had my just in case three months of expenses savings in the bank already. Would still need to save for baby supply costs/diapers etc, but I would view that separately from this.
God-parents.
Non-negotiable. I would want at least the first of the godparents lined up. In my culture, godparents do two things; they commit to being involved in the child's lives to support them, and they commit to help teaching them ethics/personal development. Generally you choose two godparents of the same sex and one of the opposite sex for each child, to provide a wider support network for the child, even if something happens to the parent. If I can't find people willing and suitable to godparent, then it would be Sign for me that I need to wait to TTC.
Which resources are negotiable and non-negotiable to you, when you are thinking of SMCing?
Which ducks must be in a row, versus which ducks can jig around until they settle on their own?
Curious.
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