Last night Swiffer,(my dog) had insomnia. Every two hours, she decided it was imperitave that I wake up, take her outside to stand and sniff for an unproductive ten minutes, and then go inside. By the second call, I was on robot setting.
<begin program>
Does she need water? Stop in front of the water dish, fresh water.
No dice.
Zombie over to the door, attach reasonable facismile of clothing. Exit door, do the potty walk.
No dice.
Zombie back in. Drag out the thermometer. Take a distasteful but necessary temperature.
Normal.
Feel all over for hot spots or injury.
Nothing.
Check all the windows for attempted break in, appropriate security, anyone casting shadow etc.; no smoke from anywhere in the apartment
Nothing, everything is safe.
Resolved? No obvious distress now?
Return to bed.
Repeat up to three times before escalating to next robot program.
Fantasize about not being in this private foggy world all alone.
<end program>
After round three (and a productive potty walk!), dog settled down for the rest of the night.
It just occurred to me that this is a really good practice run for the first year of parenting. Substitute water for milk, and change up the medical checks, and I can reframe this as a good experience for me to have. If I can handle that's one step closer to levelling up towards being able to do this. Or, more accurately, proving to myself that I can do this.
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