[Book Reviews] July 7-15

In Defense of Single Parent Families, by Nancy E Dowd (1997)

ISBN: 0-8147-1869-8

Summary: A treatise on how single parent families are not 'wrecking the social fabric', and should not be stigmatized as social problems. Note that although the title says "Single Parent", what Nancy mostly writes about is "Single Mothers", as she readily admits there simply aren't many statistics or studies done on single fathers parenting without assistance of stepmothers in the house.

I had a hard time getting though this book, though it did have several good points to think on. I think this is partially because the stigma that Nancy was battling over fifteen years ago has vastly diminished. It is no longer unnatural for people to single parent; it has become the new normal. I'm happy that society has changed this much that the battles we face aren't the same Nancy faced; that said, I found it interesting to sample her world, and what it had to say about both single parents and divorced parents.



The author shared that she thought that "What was most important [in her decision to have a child] was my desire and ability to parent. -xv" I absolutely agree with her here.

Nancy addresses the stigma of single mothers, and even informally sidewise rates the increasing stigma and where single mothers by choice come in. In order of decreasing stigma of mothering, I present to you the following: (where > = "has more stigma than")

Unwed teen mother > Divorced mother > Single Mother by Choice > Mother by adoption > Widowed mother > Married mother

While Nancy didn't put things this bluntly, this was an interesting heavy point about single parenting, and
how society still does rate families on the amount of perceived social fabric torn/societal burden.

She also notes that:

"Dysfunctional families come in all shapes and sizes; so do healthy families. - xv

Interesting tidbits included the "why" of giving children not born in marriage the mother's name; it turns out this was it's own feminist victory. I was completely unaware of the following.

Previously, last name denoted who was financially burdened with caring for the child. Thus if the child was acknowledged and supported by the birth father, he would hold a modified version of the father's name. If not acknowledged, the child would hold a surname denoting that the church would care for the child while the mother undertook the full year of indentured servitude in the church performing penance for having an illegitimate child. (Note that there was no penalty in England at the time for the father. Yeesh.)

Allowing the mother to pass on her surname was admitting that a mother could hold the responsibility of maintaining a child in food and clothes on her own.